(image by MarkyBon)
In Part I of this series, I discussed nominalizations. This post will expose how hidden prepositions, conjunctions, and adverbs contribute to wordiness.
Hidden Prepositions
How many times have you written something like the following?
>> In view of the fact that iridium is resistant to corrosion, we should use this element for building pipes.
Can you guess which conjunction I hid? If you guessed “because,” you are correct. To be concise, I could have written:
>> Because iridium is resistant to corrosion, we should use this element for building pipes.
Hidden Adverbs
Which adverb is hidden in the following phrase?
>> I walk at a slow pace.
Ok, that made me cringe. How about this?:
>> I walk slowly.
That’s a little better. I pulled ‘slowly’ out of hiding. Still, couldn’t I use an efficient verb and eliminate the adverb?
>> I stroll.
Much better, right?
Hidden Prepositions
The following example pains me because it uses a common phrase of mine:
>> Prior to getting her latest Botox injection, Jane was able to smile.
That doesn’t sound bad, does it? The clause “prior to” has a nice ring but the chopping block shows no mercy. I could simply say:
>> Before getting her latest Botox injection, Jane was able to smile.
Poor Jane.
Summary
There is nothing inherently wrong with any of the “offending” sentences. But, if you’re trying to write concisely, consider paring down phrases for which a simple preposition, conjunction, or adverb will suffice.
